Epidural or Natural?

If you had asked me this question when I was younger, I would have said: "I'm not having kids, I am going to be a successful working woman!"

If you had asked me this question when I first got married, I would have said: "EPIDURAL!  It's not like you get an award or anything."

Now that I have had two children, one with an epidural and one without, I will say: "Be prepared for anything!"

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Preston's birth story was only a 12 hour story...a lot shorter than most first deliveries.  For that, I was thankful.  My water broke one afternoon which bought me a lot of time to get everything ready, travel to the hospital, get check in, and decide that I wanted an epidural.  Contractions didn't start until they put me on the dreaded pitocin. 

Pitocin.  I have mixed feelings now.  It definitely kicked started my labor to get it in to over drive.  Was it good for Preston, probably not.  A few years after Preston was born my Mom told me a detail to my story that I didn't know about.  My Mom was sitting outside of my room and when my doctor walked out, she told her: "We will have this baby before my shift is up!".

Hmmmm...sounds to me like she just wanted to make it happen on her schedule rather than my own body's schedule.  What do you think?  That bit of information definitely threw me for a loop...I was just following what the doctor thought was best.

The epidural.  I had the time to get the epidural for Preston's birth.  And now that I look back, I am very glad that I did.  Preston was sunny-side up and it took me almost two hours to push him out.  Now, was it harder to push because I had the epidural and couldn't feel everything?  Was it harder because he was sunny-side up?  Was it harder because it was my first delivery and I didn't quite know what I was doing?  The questions never cease.

The recovery.  This was hard.  But I was also given an episiotomy.  Yup.  That sucked.  Feeling the pain of that after the epidural wore off was awful.  I didn't feel like myself for probably at least six to eight weeks.  Exercise?  Walking?  Yea right.  It wasn't going to happen for a while.

Am I glad that I got an epidural with Preston's birth, yes.  Was it the best for my child...I don't know.  We also had quite a hard time with Preston's head shape when he was a baby...did that have to do with the two vacuums they needed to use to get him out?  Probably.  But he also liked to sleep on one side of his head.  It's a toss up.

Overall, I think that a lot of unnecessary things happened during Preston's birth that affected the outcome for Preston and myself.  But the other question that I pose to myself is: If I hadn't have had the epidural, how long would the delivery process have been?  Would I be in serious pain for 12 hours or more because it was my first?

Tough questions.

Lyla's birth story was completely different.  Instead of ten days early from the due date, I was seven days early.  Still great because I don't think I could have gone much longer with either pregnancy.  I was huge and extremely uncomfortable!

With Lyla, my contractions started at home.  Within an hour of them starting, they were already two to three minutes apart.  So I went against the doctor's instructions of staying at home for an hour or two to see if they were progressing and headed straight for the hospital.  SO GLAD that we did that!

When I got to the hospital and was checking in (which took forever), I was already six centimeters dilated.  They had asked if I wanted an epidural and I immediately said yes.  I was in so much pain and the thought of relieving that pain sounded amazing at the time.

Epidural?  Yea right.  Didn't happen.  When they wheeled me in to the delivery room...ten centimeters dilated.  All within three hours I had gone from just a big, tired pregnant lady to one who was ready to push. 

The contractions.  They were DREADFUL.  I have never felt more pain in my life and I wasn't prepared.  Once they told me that the epidural was a no go, I went in to panic mode.  I had not taken any classes on how to deal with the pain.  I was scared and tense.  Within five hours of the contractions starting, Lyla had arrived sans vacuum, sans epidural, and sans episiotomy.  When she was out, did I feel immediately better?  No, I was still very much contracting, but they certainly were not as intense.  But then I had my friends Percocet and Tylenol to help me through ;)

The recovery.  I felt better that night.  I could move better, I didn't have stitches, and I was in shock with how good I felt.  I almost felt back to normal within only two weeks of time.  Emotionally, though, I was a bit traumatized because like I said before, I was not prepared for a natural birth.  I think if I had learned some strategies beforehand with breathing and dealing with the pain it would have been a better experience for me. 

One of the questions that still lingers in our household between my husband and I is: Does the use of pitocin and an epidural effect the temperament of a baby?  My two children are very different people so far...is it just a coincidence that the deliveries were so drastically different or not?

We certainly do not have all the answers and with some questions, we will always wonder.  But my kids are happy, safe, and in good health...that's all that matters. 

Ladies, to you that are currently thinking about your birth plan...do what is best for YOU and YOUR BABY!  But again, birth plans go right out the window when your body has other plans.  So the best advice I can give you is to be prepared for anything.

As for me - my experience was better with a natural birth.  But I'm not quite sure I would have picked it knowing the pain I was going to be in.  I'm kind of happy that I was thrown in to the situation and had no choice because I rose to the occasion and made it happen.  I feel like a really powerful woman and am proud of what I accomplished in that hospital room.  I did what a woman's body was made to do.  BOOYAH!!

I am even more proud of my beautiful family!